100+ Witty Captions For Instagram That Are Clever

Witty Instagram Captions

witty captions for instagram

If you’re looking for some witty captions to add to your Instagram photo, I’ve got you covered. These Instagram captions have been found to be successful by other social media users. And they definitely do the job of making you look wittier!

You can’t expect to get thousands of likes with your Instagram photos. But you can look to add some wit to your captions and make people stop and read them. Witty captions will do the trick!

Here are 100+ witty captions for Instagram.

Witty Captions

  1. One minute of reconciliation is worth than a whole life of friendship.
  2. All of humanity’s problems stem from man’s inability to sit quietly in a room alone.
  3. No power and no treasure can outweigh the extension of our knowledge.
  4. Nothing is hidden from the eyes of the observing world.
  5. The limits of tyrants are prescribed by the endurance of those whom they oppose.
  6. Not everything that is faced can be changes, but nothing can be changes until it is faced.
  7. To argue with a person who has renounced the use of reason is like administering medicine to the dead.
  8. The secret of genius is to carry the spirit of the child into old age, which means never losing your enthusiasm.
  9. That which cannot be put into words can only be grasped through silence.
  10. Ignorance leads to fear, fear leads to hate, and hate leads to violence. This is the equation.
  11. All human knowledge begins with intuitions, proceeds from thence to concepts, and ends with ideas.
  12. Nothing in this world is harder than speaking the truth, nothing easier than flattery.
  13. Better keep yourself clean and bright; you are the window through which you must see the world.
  14. Time is the wisest of all things that are; for it brings everything to light.
  15. The beauty of creatures is nothing other than an image of the divine beauty in which things participate.
  16. Ridicule is the tribute paid to the genius by the mediocrities.
  17. Chaos often breed life, when order breeds habit.
  18. A man comes to measure his greatness by the regrets, envies and hatreds of his competitors.
  19. That which is false troubles the heart, but truth brings joyous tranquillity.
  20. Reading makes a full man, meditation a profound man, discourse a clear man.

Witty Captions for Instagram

  1. The trouble with the rat race is that even if you win, you’re still a rat. – Lily Tomlin
  2. People who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do. – Isaac Asimov
  3. Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter. – Mark Twain
  4. The world is full of magical things patiently waiting for our wits to grow sharper. – Bertrand Russell
  5. Fools learn from experience. Wise men learn from the experience of others. – Otto von Bismark
  6. The highest form of ignorance is when you reject something you don’t know anything about. – Wayne Dyer
  7. I am an old man and have known a great many troubles, but most of them never happened. – Mark Twain
  8. There is nothing so useless as doing efficiently that which should not be done. – Peter F. Drucker
  9. Everyone has a sense of humor. If you don’t laugh at jokes, you probably laugh at opinions. – Criss Jami
  10. Learning to ignore things is one of the great paths to inner peace. – Robert J. Sawyer
  11. It is far better to be alone, than to be in bad company. – George Washington
  12. We have art in order not to die of truth. – Friedrich Nietzsche
  13. It is not unity that we must seek but collective consciousness. – Molefi Kete Asante
  14. To the living we owe respect, but to the dead we owe only the truth. – Voltaire
  15. Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forward. – Soren Kierkegaard
  16. If you want the present to be different from the past, study the past. – Spinoza
  17. The wise only possess ideas; the greater part of mankind are possessed by them. – Samuel Taylor Coleridge
  18. He who sees all beings in his own self and his own self in all beings loses all fear. – Upnishads
  19. Keep in mind always the present you are constructing. It should be the future you want. – Alice Walker
  20. The meaningless absurdity of life is the only incontestable knowledge accessible to man. – Leo Tolstoy

Witty Instagram Captions for Selfies

  1. The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese. – Steven Wright
  2. We are all born crazy. Some of us remain that way. – Samuel Beckett
  3. It takes considerable knowledge just to realize the extent of your own ignorance. – Thomas Sowell
  4. I’d rather have 1% of the effort of 100 men than 100% of my own effort. – J. Paul Getty
  5. Circumstances don’t make the man, they only reveal him to himself. – Epictetus
  6. Knowing others is intelligence; knowing yourself is true wisdom. – Laozi
  7. Rather fail with honor than succeed with fraud. – Sophocles
  8. Everyone is a moon, and has a dark side which he never shows to anybody. – Mark Twain
  9. Everyone sees what you appear to be, few experience what you really are. – Niccolo Machiavelli
  10. Within you there is a stillness and sanctuary to which you can retreat at any time and be yourself. – Herman Hesse
  11. Youth ages, immaturity is outgrown, ignorance can be educated, and drunkenness sobered, but stupid lasts forever. – Aristophanes
  12. Our own heart, and not other men’s opinion, forms our true honor. – Samuel Coleridge
  13. One who makes himself a worm cannot complain afterwards if people step on him. – Immanuel Kant
  14. Never speak so loud that you neglect to listen.
  15. The man of principle does not forget who he is because of what others are. – Baltasar Gracian
  16. Do the best you can until you know better. Then, when you know better, do better. – Mays Angelou
  17. Truth is not what you want it to be; it is what is is, and you must bend to its power of live a lie. – Miyamoto Musashi
  18. Those who do good because they want to be seen to be good are not good. – Lieh Tzu
  19. Do not let the behaviour of others destroy your inner peace. – Dalai Lama
  20. The actions of men are the best interpreters of their thoughts. – John Locke

Short Witty Captions for Instagram

  1. Arguing with a fool proves there are two. – Doris M. Smith
  2. Silence is argument carried out by other means. – Che Guevara
  3. We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public. – Bryan White
  4. The truth can be funny but it’s not funny to cover up the truth. – Ryan Cooper
  5. You cannot be anything if you want to be everything. – Solomon Schechter
  6. An intellectual solves a problem. A genius avoids it. – Albert Einstein
  7. You can pretend to be serious; but you can’t pretend to be witty. – Sacha Guitry
  8. Humor is the truth; wit is an exaggeration of the truth. – Stan Laurel
  9. Life is really simple, but we insist on making it complicated. – Confucius
  10. Never miss a good chance to shut up. – Will Rogers
  11. Only the wisest and stupidest of men never change. – Confucius
  12. If you tell the truth, you don’t have to remember anything. – Mark Twain
  13. The Best way to destroy an enemy is to make him a friend. – Abraham Lincoln
  14. Action will destroy your procrastination. – Og Mandino
  15. We don’t see things as they are. We see them as we are. – Anais Nin
  16. If you tell the truth, you don’t have to remember anything. – Mark Twain
  17. Worrying is like paying a debt you don’t owe. – Mark Twain
  18. The cure for boredom is curiosity. There is no cure for curiosity. – Dorothy Parker
  19. A person with a sharp tongue will eventually cut themselves. – J. Robson Koenig
  20. Anger makes dull men witty, but it keeps them poor. – Francis Bacon

Witty Instagram Captions for Guys

  1. Desire makes slaves out of kings, and patience makes king out of slaves. – Al-Ghazali
  2. The deeper sin against the human mind is to believe things without evidence. – Aldous Huxley
  3. Please all, and you will please none. – Aesop
  4. It takes a wise man to discover a wise man. – Diogenes
  5. It is far better to be alone, than to be in bad company. – George Washington
  6. Mercy to the guilty is cruelty to the innocent. – Adam Smith
  7. Never argue with someone whose TV is bigger than their bookshelf. – Emilia Clarke
  8. He who cannot obey himself will be commanded. That is the nature of living creatures. – Friedrich Nietzsche
  9. Even a poor man feels like a king when he marries the right woman.
  10. Those who cry the loudest are not always the ones who are hurt the most. – Aesop
  11. It is easier than to build a strong children than to repair a broken men. – Friedrich Nietzsche
  12. The more unintelligent a man is, the less mysterious existence seems to him. – Arthur Schopenhauer
  13. You should never be ashamed to admit you have been wrong. It only proves you are the wiser today than yesterday. – Jonathan Swift
  14. A wise man fills his brain emptying his mouth. – African Proverb
  15. When in doubts tell the truth. It will confound your enemies and astound your friends. – Mark Twain
  16. If we are true to ourselves, we can not be false to anyone. – William Shakespeare
  17. The measure of a man is what he does with power. – Plato
  18. If a man kows more than others, he becomes lonely. – Carl Jung
  19. Nobody is going to pour truth into your brain, It’s something you have to find out of yourself. – Noam Chomsky
  20. Never interrupt your enemy when he is making a mistake. – Napoleon Bonaparte
  21. Judge a man by his questions rather than his answers. – Voltaire

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